Sometimes the negativity that resonates from people, the skeptics, the people who never tried more than what was placed in front of them, rings in my ears. Yes, we do not originate from farming families. We were not raised on farms. I had dogs and bunnies growing up, not cattle, horses, and chickens. Yes, we have much to learn. And we would never be the people to admit we know more than those who have farming in their blood.

But if you live your life so limited and think you can’t, you won’t. We certainly are not those people. Never thinking at one point, this is what we have to do the rest of our lives. So we bought a farm. I am completing my Master’s degree in School Counseling at 41. I plan on pursuing my Ph.D. And in that same sentence I would tell you I would love to have a heifer give birth to her first calf in front of me. I want to have rows of lavender fields, fruit trees, and the Peapod driver to return and tell me, “Ah you took my advice about the permaculture idea.” A long farm table in the middle of our hay fields, feeding people with our food. Everyday I walk through poop of some kind. And it doesn’t even phase me. I talk to the animals as I feed them.

Yesterday I watched our oldest ride her horse. Like everything on this farm, Pearl is a daily reminder of how much we still are learning and how much we still don’t know. She’s rough around the edges, needs daily work and consistency. And at times I doubted my judgement with her, since yes, I am limited in what I know about horses. But then there is a moment when everything clicks and doubt falls away like a thick fog. Yesterday was a day both my daughter and I felt a smidgen of victory. And it felt good.